“The Immortals”

Mark Kermode, in his latest collection of essays on cinema The Good, the Bad & the MultiPlex, talks about the “diminished expectations” of the general film-going public.

Thanks to the never-ending parade of empty-headed blockbusters Hollywood dumps on us, we’ve come to expect very little from the latest “big” picture and arrive at the movie theater merely hoping for a couple of hours of diversion.

How lazy.  How stupid.

It is the average punter who is ruining the movie industry and not, as some of us like to think, the greed and  superficiality of studio honchos.  Sure, the guys in suits love a nice, fat, profit-sharing check, but guess who endorses it?  Joe and Josephine Average.

“The Immortals” is but the latest example of the dearth of talent and originality in Tinseltown.  One quick glance at the trailer is all one needs to realize that, once again, the fifteen year old gamer/mall rat moron is still the demographic of choice.  Dolts with the aesthetic of tapeworms and the I.Q. of gerbils.

First, there was 300…then there was Avatar…now, when you thought movies couldn’t possibly get more idiotic and demeaning, we bring you The Immortals!

Not a tag line you’re liable to see in an ad campaign any time soon but, well, there it is.

As long as people continue to cater to these awful exercises in excess we can expect to see more of them.  And the genuinely good films will continue to struggle to find an audience, no matter how much critical acclaim they receive.

Mr. Kermode points out, quite rightly, that film critics these days have absolutely no influence on movie-goers and there are enough shills and flacks out there to give even the worst, most deplorable waste of celluloid rave reviews and handy sound bites:  “The best movie of the year!” “An amazing film!”  “I saw it when I was in a coma and thought it rocked!” etc.

No, not shame on Hollywood.

We’re the barbarians at the gates.

Where’s the boiling oil and flaming naphtha when you really need it?

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About Cliff Burns

I'm a literary writer, specializing in slipstream/ alternative/surreal/science fiction. My influences include Philip K. Dick, Harlan Ellison, Samuel Beckett, Jorge Luis Borges, David Cronenberg, Rene Magritte, any artist who defies convention and busts open genres, attacking the status quo.
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